Small changes.... big problems

I wonder how a two year old truly knows what is going on.  I mean, think about it, there are things in their everyday world that they actually understand, that they comprehend.  I don't remember much, if anything, from when I was two, and I think, for the most part, I am really thankful for that fact.  A two year old's life has to be so exciting to them.  So many new colors, shapes, letters, sounds, sights.  It has to be overwhelming to say the least, and on top of all of the new things, they are still expected to remember all the old stuff too, like who their parents are.  AND, on top of all the remembering and experiencing, parents expect their two year old children to behave perfectly.  I am this mother, too.  I have to wonder, how can we really expect so much from our little ones?

Over the past week I have been frantically trying to get the house cleaned and ready for a visit from my in-laws.  I had a list.  A LONG and exhaustive list.  I expect a lot out of myself (which may be why my expectations of Jared are so high), and I work really hard to ensure that I truly get as much done as I can in a 24 hour period.  Along with the visit from the in-laws, Brandon and I are renewing our vows this weekend.  It isn't going to be a huge to-do, but it is going to be special and significant.  Add it to the growing list....

As I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I often forget that I have a two year old who watches my every move.  He has been caught in the cross-hairs of my neuroses a few too many times for anyone's liking.  He is a good kid and bounces back fast, even if the look of confusion takes awhile to fade away.  He has learned the word "move" quite well, and knows when to get out of the way of my whirlwind.  I am not proud of this.  I am not proud that he has learned to quickly shuffle away when I am in one of my moods.  But, I am proud of him. 

Last night, Dan and Noel made it safely to Hawaiian soil.  They landed late for my family, 10 pm,  as we are usually in bed by 8:30 pm.  Jared's room was exchanged for the guest room, and his bed was moved into the floor or mine and Brandon's closet.  When this has happened in the past with other guests we have easily been able to transition Jared into the pack and play in our closet.  He usually has no problems sleeping.  However, this time Jared has grown an inch or two since the last time, and he no longer fits into the pack and play with any comfort.  Thus, the idea of just taking his mattress and putting on the floor of our closet was born.  I thought it was a brilliant idea.  Jared.... well.... not so much. 

It took Jared almost 30 minutes to finally settle down enough to sleep.  He slept soundly until about midnight.  He then opened the door of the closet, turned the light on, and promptly shouted "Mama!".  I wasn't quite asleep yet after getting Dan and Noel from the airport, so I got out of bed and put him back in his bed.  He had so many other ideas.  He kept getting up, and kept turning the light on, thus robbing Brandon and I of precious hours of sleep.  We did notice at about 12:30 am that he felt rather warm.  We took his temperature, which was 101.9, and then gave him Tylenol, and stripped him down to just his stylish Elmo diaper.  He thought this meant play time.  We tried EVERYTHING and every combination of everything, including the uncomfortable but familiar pack and play, to try and get him to go back to sleep.  It wasn't until around 3:30 am that he finally decided to fall back to sleep, with his feet shoved into the corner of the bulging pack and play.  6:30 am was still the time he knew he wanted to be up and ready for his day. 

I am not sure what I expected, but I know that my expectations were too high.  He's only two after all, and I can't expect him to be everything I want, all the time.  All the small changes added up to big problems for my little man.  Tonight, we are going to try the mattress on the floor again and hope it isn't so bad this time.  I sure do love my little man, and things like this remind me just how much.